User:Gamekid/bayo and netta

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bayo and netta are a pair of sites made by gamekid in October, inspired by Bayonetta. The first is inspired by Lcadwallader's "[3p1c 0wn z0n3]" sites (mainly Chad Wardenn 3p1c 0wns Ryan "Sugar Ray" Davis [3p1c] [3p1c 0wn] [3p1c 0wn z0n3]). The second is inspired by Chad Wardenn Presents: How to Prank an Xbox Fan by DarthWang.


I had first heard of Bayonetta after I read the Google Blog, then went to the Google Chrome Themes Gallery and saw the game's official theme there.

netta took three days and seven hours to make. It is based solely on The Original How To Prank a Telemarketer ("HTPAT") and the official Japanese flash site for Bayonetta and its trailers, except for the watermarks. The "butt" watermark is from an official shot of the Bayonetta model, and the second is SenatorJohnKerry's hentaiTMND triangle. The sixth-slide watermark almost kept the site from appearing before morning local time, because it was translucent and would not show up on playback. A "Semi-flatten" of that slide in GIMP got the watermark to appear correctly.

netta script

The lines are based on the slides. Other sounds, mainly uses of the name "Luka", were added as well.

Slide 1

  • Um, I wanted to switch gears a little bit. [BAYO] Mabe was our guest last week-
  • Yes he was.
  • We've had a lot of requests for this. He has a little stunt that he does, he leaves a tape recorder by his phone, and when the phone rings he [spank]s the button, and if it's a [NETTA]marketer he [records] the call.
  • Puts them on a little bit.
  • And I thought we'd give this one a [good spanking].

Slide 2

  • Hello?
  • Yes, can I speak with [BAYO] Mabe?
  • Who's calling?
  • [The name is Luka]. You have been selected to receive a [kind invitation] for free. With this you're going to-
  • Let me ask you something. Did you know [BAYO] Mabe? Were you a friend of [BAYO]s?
  • No I'm not. I'm just calling to offer-
  • Hold that thought, hold on a second. (Hey guys get really [good spank]s of the body, and [drag your ass back down to hell].) [Luka] you there?
  • Yeah.

Slide 3

  • Yeah, let me bring you up to speed, you've actually called a [sacrifice] scene; [BAYO] Mabe is no longer with us. [My name is Balder]; I'm conducting a [sacrifice] investigation. I want to ask you a series of questions. First of all: What was the nature of the business you had with [BAYO] Mabe?
  • I... I had no business with him. I'm sorry to have bothered-
  • No hang on. I'm going to ask you to stay on the phone, this call has already [got screwed] and we may need to come in for further questioning.
  • You don't understand, I'm just calling-
  • No you don't understand, unless you want to [sacrifice our halo wearing friends, every day] it is imperative that you [drag your ass back down to hell], [Luka].
  • How about you just talk with my [...father]?
  • No we will get to your [...father] [500 years later]. First give me your where-abouts.

Slide 4

  • I am at [hell].
  • You're at [hell]?
  • Yes.
  • You being a [naughty] ass?
  • No sir.
  • Let me put it to you this way, [Luka]. Say I wanted to mail your ass a [good spanking]. What would I have to write on the outside of the envelope to ensure that [BAYO] would deliver it right to your ass? Geographically speaking [Luka], where is [hell]?
  • [*swoosh* Sega].
  • Now hold on that's-
  • Yes sir.

Slide 5

  • Hold on one second alright. (Get the [Sega] Police Department, [sacrifice] Division on the phone, give them this information. Tell them that he is being [stuck in a casket at the bottom of a lake]. How did you know [BAYO] Mabe again?
  • Wait. You are calling the [Sega] Police Department? I'm [500] miles away. I don't even know the guy. I'm in [hell].
  • No, don't let that scare you, that's just a formality. Have you ever [prepared dessert as well]?
  • No!
  • And tell me again, where were you last night between the hours [Long since erased from the records of time]?
  • I'm not feeling [very strong] about any of this.
  • Have you even ever spoke with [the followers of darkness, the Umbra Witches], [Luka]?

Slide 6

  • No I haven't. I don't even know [BAYO]. That's what I've been trying to tell you.
  • OK great. Just calm down, hold on, look, just back up.* I've just got one more question for you [Luka]. As you well know I'm sure, [BAYO] Mabe was a [naughty little] homosexual. And there is no easy way of asking this, I don't want to embarrass you or nothing but, were you his [good spanking] lover?
    *I had considered using Relax Max here, but quickly relented.
  • What? No! What the hell kind of question is that?
  • Look, look. If [spank] is your way, that is OK. I still know there are a lot of you [spank] people in that closet. Not saying I haven't thought about it myself, you know? Go out to [hell] or something, buy a couple of drinks, [naughty little] Mexican midget.
  • This [takes really getting screwed].
  • [Ohh yes.]