New Talent on 60 Minutes

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New Talent on 60 Minutes
Preview image
Creator: Improviser
Created on: October 8, 2005
Sound origin: 60 mins + various
Image origin: 60 mins + various

New Talent on 60 Minutes is a YTMND created by Improviser on October 8, 2006. It is a play on the introduction to the CBS news magazine 60 Minutes, wherein each of the correspondents introduces him or herself with "I'm (insert name here)." After Ed Bradley, Steve Kroft, Leslie Stahl, Scott Pelley, and Morley Safer introduce themselves, it continues with other famous "I'm/I am" quotes from pop culture. These include Brian Fellow, a character on NBC's Saturday Night Live played by Tracy Morgan; Rick James as portrayed by Dave Chappelle on Chappelle's Show ("I'm Rick James, bitch!"); and Captain Planet, among others.

Rise in popularity

Within a week of its creation, New Talent on 60 Minutes topped the all-time top-rated with a 4.79 rating as of October 14, 2006. Some voters attributed their ratings, for better or for worse, to the site's ending, a screencap of 60 Minutes regular Andy Rooney accompanied by what is assumed to be Rooney saying "Poland." Some of said voters will infer that Improviser "remembered Poland", an obvious reference to the You Forgot Poland fad.

New Talent is also fourth on the "biggest favorites" list with 1,523 favorites, behind Holy shi* it's a Dinosaur! WTF? (1,842), We Didn't Start This Website! (2,000), and Cosby Bebop (3,088).


Due to requests from voters, New Talent on 60 Minutes has had some additions since its creation. Among the names in the current version of New Talent that were not in the original include Beavis ("I am Cornholio!"), the narrator from Fight Club ("I am Jack's raging bile duct"), and Arnold Schwarzenegger ("I'm Detective John Kimble" from Kindergarten Cop). Requested additions that Improviser has stated he will not make include "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" ("Rick James is already in so no Juggernaut," said Improviser) and Inigio Montoya from The Princess Bride (he says "My name is Inigio Montoya", not "I am Inigio Montoya."). Improviser contradicted an earlier statement by adding Ron Burgundy on October 23, 2006 in addition to adding Skeletor (from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe) and Troy McClure (a recurring character on The Simpsons voiced by the late Phil Hartman).

Upon Ed Bradley's death in November 2006, Improviser added a single-frame dedication to Bradley after Andy Rooney's "Poland." The frame reads "Dedicated to Ed Bradley, June 22 1941 - November 10, 2006."

The battle for top place

Ever since We Didn't Start This Website! was posted, New Talent and WDSTW have gone neck-and-neck for the top place on the all-time top rated list. As of September 11, 2007, New Talent has the lead by 0.0014 stars. The next closest competition is PCF's It's Good! Want Some?, trailing New Talent by 0.0357 stars.

In addition, sites on the Up and Coming list that have close-to-5-star ratings may get comments comparing that site to New Talent. One example is AndySavage's Wesley Snipes Learns a Lesson, where user icenine0 commented "thar is no wai this ken be gud az 60 minutez!@!!!!! 1111111111111111111111111"

Volume 2

On December 20, 2007, user VIsraWratS created New Talent on 60 Minutes Vol. 2. It was also well received and topped the UAC list but did not have the same meteoric rise to the all-time top rated that the original did. The introduction is the same, then uses "I'm" quotes from King Arthur and the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Bill S. Preston and Ted Logan, Bart Simpson, and more. The ending also uses Andy Rooney, this time saying "I don't think we need any more" (along with a floppy disc reading "Disc is full").

Full list of "I'm" quotes from Vol. 1

  • I'm Ed Bradley.
  • I'm Steve Kroft.
  • I'm Leslie Stahl.
  • I'm Scott Pelley.
  • I'm Morley Safer.
  • I'm Brian Fellow!
  • I'm Detective John Kimble!
  • I am Cornholio!
  • I am Morpheus.
  • I'm the Bearded Lady
  • I'm Ron Burgundy?
  • I'm the leprechaun! (Wayne's World)
  • I'm Troy McClure.
  • I'm the dude!
  • I'm Spartacus.
  • I'm Casey Kasem.
  • I'm your worst nightmare. (Sylvester Stallone)
  • I am SKELETOR!
  • I'm Batman
  • I am Jack's raging bile duct. (Fight Club)
  • I'm the ghost with the most, babe. (Beetlejuice)
  • I'm Rick James, bitch!
  • I'm your huckleberry
  • I'm Mike Wallace, those stories and Andy Rooney, tonight on 60 Minutes.

Full list of "I'm" quotes from Vol. 2

  • I'm Ed Bradley.
  • I'm Steve Kroft.
  • I'm Leslie Stahl.
  • I'm Scott Pelley.
  • I'm Morley Safer.
  • I'm invincible! (Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
  • I'm Ed!
  • I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations.
  • I am the real Hulk. (Hulk Hogan)
  • I'm a friend of Sarah Connor. (The Terminator)
  • I'm a doctor, not an escalator. (Bones from Star Trek)
  • I am 100% not gay! (Mr. Garrison from South Park)
  • I'm not a geek.
  • I'm the angry video game nerd.
  • I am the senate.
  • (Gibberish, subtitled: I'm Charles Manson)
  • I'm Punky Brewster.
  • I'm Bill S. Preston!
  • I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
  • I am really pissed off!
  • I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!
  • I'm Pee-Wee.
  • I'm the key figure in an ongoing government charade.
  • I'm a man.
  • I'm a klingon.
  • I'm a Bender. (Futurama)
  • I'm a big fat slob! (Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers series)
  • I'm not even supposed to be here today.
  • I'm the baby, gotta love me! (ABC's Dinosaurs)
  • I'm Buffy.
  • I am your father.
  • I'm your uncle Buck.
  • I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
  • I'm just a sexy boy! (WWE wrestler Shawn Michaels)
  • I am Arthur, king of the Britons!
  • I am your worst dream come true!
  • I'm-a Luigi!
  • I am the mighty megalasaurus. (ABC's Dinosaurs)
  • I am a mean popsicle.
  • I'm not a racist. (Michael Richards)
  • I'm an asshole... (Denis Leary's song "Asshole")
  • I'm Mike Wallace, those stories and Andy Rooney, tonight on 60 Minutes.